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Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Hillary Clinton in Parody of movie "Mr. Brooks"

FADE to Black Screen and opening theme music to movie “Mr. Brooks” followed by narrative.                                                 
NARRATVE (O.S.)
The hunger has returned
To Mrs. Clinton’s brain.
In never really left.
The desire for public service.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Hillary is driving.  Her PERSONAL ASSISTANT sits in the front passenger seat.

                                                                                                HILLARY
                                                                                (praying)
                                                                Oh God, God grant me the serenity to accept
the things I cannot change…

In the rear seat appears BILL CLINTON.

BILL
                                                                 Why do you fight it so hard Hillary?
                                                               
                                                                                                HILLARY
                                                                ….the courage to change the things I can…

                                                                                                BILL 
Come on, you’ve been a good girl for a long time.
You know you want to do this.
                                                                               
                                                                                                HILLARY
…the wisdom to know the difference.  

INT. CAR – NIGHT

                                                                                                BILL
                                                                It’s not like it’s your first race.  You already ran
before.  You know how to organize it. Come on.

                                HILLARY
No.


                                BILL
You’re the freakin’ Woman of the Year.
You deserve a treat!

                                HILLARY
No Bill.  I said no.

                                BILL
Well I heard you. But you don’t mean no.

                                ASSISTANT
What’s wrong?

                                HILLARY
Uh, Nothing.

                                ASSISTANT
You’re frowning.

                                HILLARY
Oh, I was thinking about 2008.  We came
so close.

                                ASSISTANT
It’s still not too late to enter the race.

                                BILL
There having a caucus tomorrow.  There’s no
harm in just stopping by.

                                HILLARY
No means no Bill.

                                BILL
Please, pretty please. (laughing).

                                HILLARY
Yeah.  I think I might do it.

                                BILL
                (clapping his hands)

SIX MONTHS LATER

INT. CAR - NIGHT

It is a rainy evening.  Hillary Clinton is behind the driver’s seat.   Bill sits next to her in the passenger seat. They are looking across the street.  Looking for someone.

                                                                                                BILL
                                                                I don’t see them.  Maybe they won’t show up.
               
                                                                                                HILLARY
                                                                Maybe….wait.  There they are.

They gaze at several of the Democratic CANDIDATES running for President.

                                                                                                HILLARY
                                                                They don’t see us.  Maybe I should pull
                                                                Over and pick them up.

                                                                                                BILL CLINTON
                                                                Nah, just honk.  Maybe they’ll step out into
The debate traffic and knock themselves out.
Save us the mess of doing it.

                                                                                                HILLARY/BILL
                                                                (laughing simultaneously)

Hillary blows the car horn.  The candidates see her and then step off the curve.  We hear a loud screeching sound as a truck swerves around the candidates.

Hillary and Bill observe.

                                                                                                HILLARY
                                                                Wow! 
                                                                                               
                                                                                                BILL
                                                                Almost.

The CANDIDATES trot over to Hillary’s car and cramp themselves into the rear and front seats.

                                                                                                CANDIDATE 1
                                                                It’s coming down hard.
                                                                                                HILLARY
                                                                It should be sunny tomorrow, at least for me.

                                                                                                CANDIDATE 1
                                                                                (giving Hillary an envelope)
                                                                My list of where I want to be an ambassador.

                                                                                                CANDIDATE 2
                                                                                (giving Hillary an envelope)
                                                                My cabinet preferences.

                                                                                                CANDIDATE 3
                                                                You know I like the Supreme Court.

                                                                                                CANDIDATE 4
                                                                You know what I want.

                                                                                                HILLARY
                                                                Thank you gentlemen.

                                                                                                CANDIDATE 1
                                                                Just beat that A hole.  Destroy him.

                                                                                                HILLARY
                                                                Does it bother you if I destroy him?

                                                                                                CANDIDATE 1
                                                                No.  An A hole is an A hole.

Hillary and Bill laugh simultaneously.

Mr. Brooks theme music comes back on.  A montage of shots shows Hillary attracting huge crowds and winning the election.

                                                                                                NARRATIVE
                                                                The hunger has been satisfied

                                                                At least for the time being….