Comical Observations

World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) at Republican Debates

The Republican debates continue to be ferocious.  Yeah, they may wear white shirts and dress ties for the debates.  But give them one week.  I guarantee they’ll start showing up wearing wrestling gear.  Especially Trump and Cruz.  I’m talking a mini Royal Rumble.  In the next debate they’ll start off answering a real question.  Then it’ll get kind of testy.  Fingers being pointed and then Trump will apply a solo flex move to Rubio and they’ll be on the stage pounding each other in the head.

When there is one candidate left I’d bring in The Rock to challenge the final nominee.  Can you imagine that?  “The Rock says shut your candy ass up. Tell me why you think you should be President?”  Then when he tries to answer the Rock tells him, “It doesn’t matter what you think!”  Then he gives him the people’s move and knocks his ass out.  The debates are all entertainment anyway.  Nothing they say is going to solve any problems.  They’re all making empty promises and lying to us.  You know it right?

Medical Commercials

I saw this commercial on TV advertising some medicine.  It was a cartoon character that looked like intestines.  I’m not sure what his/her name was.  I call it the Colon Thing.  It had the colon mouth opening and small beady eyes.  Maybe it’s me but in real life are not intestines slimy?  If you saw a walking intestine coming towards you would you hug it?  I can imagine the next medical cartoon character.  It will be a commercial for erectile dysfunction.  It’ll be a comical cartoon figure of a flaccid limp penis all alone.   Then after it takes ciallis or Viagra it become an erect, happy hard penis with women and men flocking around it.  Now that would be a great Saturday morning kid’s cartoon show.  “Mommie can I have some cereal while I watch Penis Man?”

NBA World Team Player's Names Challenging for Announcers

I watched the NBA All Star “festivities” last week. They had a “rising stars” game that featured first and second year players.  They divided the teams by players born in the United States and those born in “foreign” countries.  It’s a “we” versus “them” game. “Them” was the “World” team.  The most challenging part of the game was hearing the announcers try to pronounce the foreign born players names.  By the time they announced all the names of the World players it was half time.

The names of the World players had like 8 syllables, and that’s in the first name only!  “Forward, from the San Antonio Spurs, Andrukylitis Staseepopulous Beecherenko Radmonivac.”  The name on the jersey ran in a horse shoe shape up, down, and around his back.  “Point guard, from the Ukraine, Vladimir Tychowsky Demetrioff.  They call him V.D.”  I hear women groupies avoid him.

The Zika Virus Takes a Cruise - satire

My wife and I took a cruise to Zika virus land  last week.  In preparation I sprayed about 2 gallons of pure Deet on my arms, legs, elbows, and toes.  We get to the Caribbean islands.  I wore long sleeved shirts and pants in 75 degree temperatures.  I even wore goggles and a helmet.  I was mosquito proof!   Didn't see one mosquito.  I even looked for them.  I even called out for them. "Mosquitoes where are you?"  Then I would duck and look for swarms of mosquitoes to attack.  No mosquitoes.

So my wife and I go back to the cruise ship, all happy and Zika free.  We get to our stateroom and walk in.  I thought I saw somebody out on our balcony.  So I go and look.  There sitting in our chairs playing cards are these two, four foot mosquitoes.  They look up and say, "Hey you finally got back!  We've been waiting here for you at least 3 hours.  I'm Zika Andromeda, my partner here is Zika Borelis.  We're making our way north to Canada.

I didn't know what to say, so I stammered. "Hello, pleased to meet you.  Then Zika Andromeda said, “you ready?”  I said, “yeah might as well get it over with.”  Then Zika Borelis said, “Okay, hold out your arms.  Then they both bit into my now Deet less arms.  Now I’m a Zika carrier.  But, they sent me a postcard  from Toronto last week. I thought that was nice of them!