Monday, February 22, 2016

The Zika Virus Takes a Cruise - satire

My wife and I took a cruise to Zika virus land  last week.  In preparation I sprayed about 2 gallons of pure Deet on my arms, legs, elbows, and toes.  We get to the Caribbean islands.  I wore long sleeved shirts and pants in 75 degree temperatures.  I even wore goggles and a helmet.  I was mosquito proof!   Didn't see one mosquito.  I even looked for them.  I even called out for them. "Mosquitoes where are you?"  Then I would duck and look for swarms of mosquitoes to attack.  No mosquitoes.

So my wife and I go back to the cruise ship, all happy and Zika free.  We get to our stateroom and walk in.  I thought I saw somebody out on our balcony.  So I go and look.  There sitting in our chairs playing cards are these two, four foot mosquitoes.  They look up and say, "Hey you finally got back!  We've been waiting here for you at least 3 hours.  I'm Zika Andromeda, my partner here is Zika Borelis.  We're making our way north to Canada.

I didn't know what to say, so I stammered. "Hello, pleased to meet you.  Then Zika Andromeda said, “you ready?”  I said, “yeah might as well get it over with.”  Then Zika Borelis said, “Okay, hold out your arms.  Then they both bit into my now Deet less arms.  Now I’m a Zika carrier.  But, they sent me a postcard  from Toronto last week. I thought that was nice of them!

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