Human Annoyances

A writer writes!

I recently ventured out to a mall to purchase a few discretionary items.  Who goes to the mall to buy something you really need?  While driving to the mall I saw one of the more annoying current sights that you see on the streets.  That is the sight of a grown human being waving a sign in a circular gyrating motion to get your attention.  The sign typically is something about buying/selling gold, or an advertisement for some goods you really don't want.

My first thought is to feel sorry for the individual if that is the best job they could get.  Then I wonder is the person a college graduate who took out some $40,000 plus in student loans and this is the best job they could get?  My typical reaction when I see the wave signers is to do my best to ignore them as if they did not exist. The second reaction is to suppress the urge to yell out the window, "really, is this the best job you could find?  You must be desperate for money!"  But, they are making an honest living so I leave them alone, even if the sight of a grown person waving a sign seems demeaning.

Next pet peeve.  Workers in those mall kiosks who aggressively try to get you to try out their product. My deranged thought process is to think, "now these people really think I drove 15 miles so they could get in my face, pushing some product at me."  Today's product, electronic cigarettes.  My thought which I should have said out loud is "Why would you want to sell me something that you have no idea about the side effects?  You really want me to buy cancer??"

Remember, if you're old enough, those vampire movies where a cross could be used to ward off evil blood sucking vampires?  I am now looking for such a cross to wear to the malls around my neck, along with a garlic clove necklace to keep these vampire sales people away from me.  Next time I'm going to just have to respond, "Yeah, I drove 15 miles just to talk to you?  Didn't you get my message?  What's your address and phone number.  I'll come by your house at 9 tonight and we can talk."  In other words "Go away and let me conduct the business I came to the mall for!  Shuddup! Get out of my way!"

Or better maybe I should walk through the mall twirling one of those annoying signs. Mine will say, "No, I don't want to buy anything from you!"